Paint It Black.

Or, how to be Goth.

It's very late and I am very ill. So, with nothing better to do until I go shopping tomorrow for food and Halloween goodies, I have decided to share some of my wisdom about Goth. Which is something I could go on about all day.

Hell I could probably write a book about it.

So, why be a Goth? Because, simply put, I think Goths are some of the best people on the planet. They are proud, unique, individuals who are cultured, friendly, open minded and take pride in who they are. They appreciate the darker things in life and see beauty where most people would not.

However, as wonderful as this sounds, you cannot simply become a Goth. I'm sorry, it doesn't work like that. Although, having said that, it isn't something you are born with either.

Unfortunately, my journey into the 'Dark side' was hardly perfect. I started getting interested in Goth a few years ago when it was still "cool". Before Emo came along and everyone who wanted to be fashionable in this new alienation went over to that.
But yes, one day, I turned to a friend of mine and said "I wish to be a Goth." And it sort of went downhill from there.

A story for another time perhaps, needless to say I am older and wiser now and I'm here to prevent you from making such terrible errors. Because alot of wannabes who wish to get into the scene, don't do any research and end up giving us all a bad name and making fools out of themselves as they prance around in their Insta-Goth kits (bought at great expense at Blue Banana or some other chainstore) listening to their uber-heavy metal and scaring old people, because they don't know any better.
No no no. This is not how it is done.

Before we begin, allow me to make something very clear. Not Goth, does not translate to Not Cool. To be honest, being Goth isn't all that great. It's just a bunch of kids tramping around to Sisters of Mercy. You really arn't missing out on anything magical if you arn't a Goth. This doesn't mean if you arn't a Goth you can't enjoy Gothic things, it just means you arn't a Goth. I don't know what you are (other than just you) but you are not Goth. Which is something more people could do with learning!

So just what is Goth? Is it some secret satanic sect? A gang of marauding vampires? Something people do so they can hook up with the pretty Goth ladies? A bunch of self-harming, misunderstood teenagers who read Edgar Allen Poe? Germanic barbarians who sacked Rome?

Nothing so grand I am afraid. What Goth really is, when you get to very core of the matter is the music. Which, if you think about it, makes sense. Before Goth music, there weren't any Goths. There were 'dark people' around, but no Goths. And it was the music that really gave it life.

So, a good starting point to see if you are cut out for Goth or not is go out and buy/listen to some Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus, the Beatles and Led Zepplin of the Goth world. If you don't like them, then it's a pretty safe bet you arn't a Goth. It would be like saying you were a punk, but didn't like the Ramones or Sex Pistols. So then, now you have two shiny new CDs, why not try some other staple Goth acts?

• Bauhaus
• Sisters of Mercy
• Siouxsie and the Banshees
• Theater of Tragedy
• Alien Sex Fiend
• Christian Death
• Joy Division
• Fields of Nephilim

These are just some ideas, you understand, in time you will find groups you like and don't like. Maybe Darkwave is your thing? Or Goth rock? Or something a little more stompy, such as Industrial? Or something a little more Ambient?

Anyway, the importance of music cannot be stressed enough because it is what is at the very center of Goth. While there is more to life the music, it is pretty damn important.

It is also worth noting that this does not mean that you cannot like other music! You can listen to Britney Spears (and like it!) as far as anyone is concerned. You live your own life, as long as you don't call something which is blatantly not Goth, Goth and you have an actual interest in Goth music. Or else we go back to the earlier point of, you might be something else, but you arn't Goth.

So then, now that is the most important part out of the way. You might be suprised to learn that it is music that is so important, and not the fashion or the literature, surely they are as Goth as the music?

Well, yes and no.

You see, the reason (in my opinion anyway) that these things are seen as being so important to Goth is because all Goths like them. Which might seem a bit obvious, so allow me to explain. When Goth music hit the world and people started to call themselves 'Goth' and got together with other like minded people they found that they all happened to like the same sorts of thing e.g. fashion, literature, films, graveyards etc etc.

It wasn't that these things were Gothic that made them like them, it is because they happened to like them anyway. And as time went on, these similar interests were eventually glued to the side of Goth and as more and more Goths join and find they like these things anyway, the idea that these things are central to Goth is maintained.

They aren't really, honest. It's just that everyone likes them. And if they didn't like them, they probably wouldn't be hanging around with us.

So the chances are, if you like Goth music, there is a good chance you will like the literature, films, fashion, absinthe, graveyards etc. Not because they are Gothic, but because you happened to like them anyway and just didn't realize before now. Or something like that.
It's a learning process, dig? Arn't you here to learn more about yourself anyway?

So. You have your shiny CD collection and are now probably longing to hit the nearest Goth club and make some new buddies. First you will need the uniform.
Important note: YOU CAN WEAR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU LIKE.

However, as most Goths appreciate the colour black and other dark colours, they will more often than not be found wearing these very shades. If you feel you feel more comfortable in such 'dark clothing', then read on...

Contrary to what you might think, you should not now proceed to your nearest Hot Topic or Blue Banana with a wad of cash to buy an Insta-Goth kit covered in spikes and skulls. This is not the way to go and not alot of Goths approve of this, for obvious reasons I would hope.

So, rest easy friends while I walk you through your first Goth wardrobe, which you will be pleased to hear is cheap as chips.

Essentials:

• Black jeans/trousers and skirts for the ladies (gents, you can wear skirts too, but that's perhaps best left until you are more advanced in the craft). These are your workhorse. Plain. Simple. The most basic look is the classic black shirt and black jeans. And if you really want, you can modify them at a later date is just keep them as they are, cheap and cheerful.
• Black t-shirt. The classic, goes with everything. And vital to the jeans and t-shirt look.
• Boots. You can have shoes if you want, but they often just don't look right. And let's be fair, boots are just awesome. They can see you right in a tussel with a stranger or a crowded mosh bit. They keep the rain off, last you years and years and a decent pair can be bought dirt cheap from places like army surplus stores and eBay. One note though, while New Rocks do indeed look the sex, unless you can find them on eBay, I would just leave them be for now.
  

For the gentleman:

• Black dress shirt. Nice and easy to find, and look very swish when layered with jackets and coats, which are both things you want to look for.
• Other items you may wish to consider: Black turtleneck, long coats, jackets, interesting belts.
  

For the lady:

• Skirts. These are your friends and constant companions. You can never have enough. Long. short, full. Experiment with layers. Gauzy ones are good for the summer (a rare advantage for Goth wear) and can easily be given the tattered graveyard look. All these can be found by thrifting and checking out sales racks. Cheap as chips.
  
• Tights and leggings. It's alright, they don't have to have spiders webs on them or anything. Quite literally anything will do. Personally I think stripy stockings are the shizz (on both men -and- women!). Once again, can be easily shopped at any highstreet store.
• Body suits. Long or short sleeved, these can be worn very nicely under skirts and come in a variety of lovely fabrics.
  
• Black dress. Everyone needs one. Goths need several. This is why I envy the ladies so much because they get to wear these pretty, wonderful, amazing things. Flaunt it ladies, flaunt it.

On a final fashionable note, you should not consider yourself limited to black. Experiment with dark reds or greens. Hell even white if you think you can pull it off. You should only ever be limited by your imagination.
And your budget.

I understand I haven't gone into make-up (both for boys and girls), but I feel this is something better left to personal experimentation. But some pointers...

• While black lipstick is indeed lush, it does not look good on everyone, I mix mine to make a grey colour which I think suits me very well.
• Nail varnish is for everyone! And decent stuff can be bought from such highstreet shops as Boots.
• When using foundation to give you the pale look, try to go only a few shades lighter than your natural tone (and go under the chin! Unless you are looking for the evil mime look) or you will look like the Crow or an undead circus clown. Whiteface is rarely the way to go.
• Eyeliner, looks lush on boys and girls, but try not to go OTT or you end up looking like a panda. If you are feeling very brave, why not try a funky artistic design?

Right then. Culture. I'm afraid to say, there is alot of reading involved. If this isn't really your thing, you might expect to be left out of a fair few discussions as you lack anything to contribute when it comes to fine literature. But that's your choice.
Anyway.

If you feel ready to assault your local library, have a look for such names as...
Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe, Mary Shelley, John Keats, Bram Stoker, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Alfred Lord Tennyson ,William Wordsworth, William Blake, Neil Gaiman, Poppy Z. Brite, William S. Burroughs, William Gibson, Anne Rice, H. P. Lovecraft.

Of course, you haven't got to read them if you really don't want to, but give some of them a thumb through and who knows, you might enjoy it.
If film is more your thing, Tim Burton is always a favorite, as are the old Hammer Horror films and going back even further, such silent classics as The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari and Nosferatu (both of which you can watch for free on Google video, along with Night of the Living Dead!).

Or, if you prefer something a little more visual, give Edward Gorey a look.

Now that all that is out of the way, you are probably looking forward to (finally) making some Goth friends. Why not log on to either of the two big Goth sites on the internet (Goth.net and Gothic.net) and introduce yourself? Have a wander around and see if you can find a local rock bar or a club that has Goth nights? If you are lucky enough to live in London, why not visit Slimelight in Angel? The biggest Goth club in the country.

Well then, I think that's everything. Our journey into the dark side has reached an end. You are on your own now. I hope here I have given you enough information to help you find your feet before striking out on your own and finding out a great deal about yourself and the world. Or something like that anyway. If I've missed anything out or you wish to say I know nothing at all about Goth, then please drop me a line some time. We'll get some coffee, it'll be nice.

And in total contradiction to what I said earlier, what is goth? It's whatever you want it to be.

Over and out.

"I think you can be substantial and still be interested in frivolity."

I'd be the first to admit that I wouldn't watch one of Sofia Coppola's films if I wanted to feel warm and fuzzy inside or to have a giggle, but that doesn't mean that they aren't enjoyable. Her films tend to leave me with a feeling of... emptiness, for lack of a better word.

Coppola's films are far more real than some of her contemporaries. She doesn't pacify the viewer by adding some saccharine Hollywood ending just because it will draw in more money at the box office. I suppose that you could class Lost in Translation as 'her' film (The Virgin Suicides and Marie Antoinette are both adaptations of books). Instead of making it a sentimental romance she creates a raw drama.

Not only are her films emotionally wonderful but they are visually stunning. She has a trademark shot of sunlight through leaves - it may sound really simple but it's brilliant.

The Virgin Suicides

The Virgin Suicides, based on the book of the same name by Jeffrey Eugenides, was the first Sofia Coppola film that I saw. I didn't really know what to expect when I sat down to watch it, but the surprise was certainly a good one. The Virgin Suicides tells the story of five girls, the Lisbon sisters. The youngest, Cecilia, is by far the most intriguing of the bunch - I found it slightly disappointing that she didn't have more screen time. Kirsten Dunst is heavenly as the raunchy yet vulnerable Lux, a firecracker of a girl who listens to Aerosmith and writes her crushes' names on her underpants. The other sisters, Bonnie, Therese and Mary play the more reserved older sisters of these two strong girls.

The Lisbon parents are just as interesting, if not as waif like, as the sisters. Mr. Lisbon is a highly strung maths teacher, his wife a keen Christian who is prepared to do anything to 'protect' her children.

I know that using voice overs is considered to be somewhat 'tacky' in Hollywood, but it really works here. Copolla allows the events to be explained to the viewer by a narrator, one of a group of young boys in the neighbourhood who obsess over the beautiful and damaged siblings. She uses the lyrical prose of Eugenides' novel to show the viewer the quality of his storytelling:

We felt the imprisonment of being a girl, the way it made your mind active and dreamy, and how you ended up knowing which colors went together. We knew that girls were our twins, that we all existed in space like animals with identical skins, and that they knew everything about us though we couldn't fathom them at all. We knew, finally, that the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them.

Lost in Translation

I think this film is cinematic Marmite - people either love it or hate it. I think that the 'haters' are the people who went to the cinema to be entertained. They may have wanted a comedy, or they may have wanted a soppy romance. Or they may have just not liked it. But all the same, I think that they are people who watched this film expecting something.

Now I must confess, I didn't pay to see this film. Well, I suppose I did in a way - it was on Film 4 last year and I sat and watched it with my Mum as there was nothing better on TV. It had me hooked immediately though. I think it may have been Scarlett Johansson's character, Charlotte, the bored wife of a busy photographer. She's a natural beauty and the camera loves her. Charlotte is such a lonely girl. Although she is in Japan with her husband, she spends her days alone, splitting her time between her hotel room and the tourist attractions of Tokyo. The lost soul in this big city is Bob Harris, an actor who is separated from his wife and family whilst he promotes various products and goes on crazy Japanese talk shows. Although the two of them appear to be two islands, isolated from the rest of society, they manage to form a strong friendship.

Now this is where the majority of viewers have an issue with this film - one could say that really, nothing happens. There isn't any specific thread to the plot. It's not your average 'boy meets girl' film with the stereotypical 'will they or won't they?' storyline.

Bob: Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. I'm looking for, like, an accomplice. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?

Charlotte: I'm in. I'll go pack my stuff.

Bob: I hope that you've had enough to drink. It's going to take courage.

Copolla's dialogue is enchanting. She manages to create such natural conversation between her characters. I think that the more alien the culture is to the characters in a film, the more difficult it must be to ensure that the speech sounds 'right'. The 'out and about' scenes in Japan are amazing - I love the part in which Bob and Charlotte go to have lunch in a traditional Japanese restaurant and joke about 'What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?'.

So yes, I could rant and rave about this film all day, but I won't. All I can say is that people should give it a chance.

Marie Antoinette

Words can't describe how upset I was when this film came out. I was at university in the North West and there were no cinemas in my area that were showing it. So I had to wait until it went to DVD.

The wait was worth it. It wasn't what I expected at all - I thought that it would be quite humorous from the trailers I'd seen, but it was more like a docu-drama. Of course, being a Copolla film it wasn't your average period drama. Not only does she use modern music in her ballroom scenes, but Marie and her closet courtiers can be seen trying on shoes and picking out material for dresses. There is a scene in which the young queen celebrates her 18th birthday - instead of a dreary banquet, the viewer is reminded of your average teenage party. Too much wine, plenty of cake and early morning drunken wandering on the lawns.

As a fan of costume drama I was delighted with this film. There is a scene in which the flamboyant Duchesse de Polignac (played by the gorgeous Rose Byrne) asks the camp and fashionable Léonard 'I love your hair. What's going on there?' to which he replies 'Everything!'. The dresses and such were just beautiful, the attention to detail was amazing. I don't know how they managed to keep all that hair up though, I wonder what they used for hairspray!

I definitely think that this film relies heavily on its visuals. The dialogue, where present, was strong, but there were periods of silence that felt a bit heavy at times. Although some could think that this is bad, it does reflect the oppressive environment that the young Marie would have found herself in. Altogether, a very beautiful film, but not for all.

Logged on and ready to go...

You have no idea how good it feels to have an internet connection of one's own. I no longer have to battle against family members and a rubbish keyboard to get online.

My laptop finally came back from the evil men at HP. It's still not 100% (they're trying to flog the 'there's nothing wrong with it' excuse) but to be honest I think that sending it back again would be more hassle than it's worth. I know that it's now just a case of playing a waiting game and guessing how long it's going to be before it starts falling to pieces again (I can quite clearly see where they've tried to glue it back together) but I'd rather a broken laptop than a 'fixed' one.

Johnny The Homicidal Maniac

Johnny The Homicidal Maniac, or JTHM as it is also known is the crowning work of dark comic genius Jhonen Vasquez. The mind behind Invader Zim.

This was his first 'big project' and has gone down in the annals of history as possibly, the 'goth comic' of the generation.

Should I person wonder what goth was like in our time, JTHM captures just that.
Dark, smart, funny and with a welcome hint of self-mockery (with the wonderful Anne Gwish).

But it is much, much more than a simple 'goth comic', the reasons I have listed above means it transcends this label and should be elevated with other comic book greats such as the Sandman.

While maybe not as groundbreaking, JTHM has a certain kind of magic that gives it that place in the hall of fame.

It's main character, as the title suggests, is the deeply troubled Johnny C. But his friends (although he doesn't have any) call him 'Nny (pronounced 'Knee'). Also as the title suggests, Johnny spends a great deal of time and energy torturing and killing people in his dilapidated house using various ghoulish machines he 'found there' when he moved in.

Despite this rather obvious character flaw, 'Nny manages to be an incredibly interesting character. Not only does he possess a very dark sense of humour you can't help but enjoy, but he is very deep and thoughtful. This is one of the more interesting parts of the book, as 'Nny battles with the voices in his head to keep in control of his own life.

Not only this but 'Nny travels through heaven and hell, learning a great deal about the nature of both, as well as God and the Devil but also learns his true purpose in life and why his life has turned out the way it did.

This is a wonderful comic book, it's very deep and brain-meat taxing and mind meltingly funny. I bought it as an impulse buy and have never regretted buying it since.
Vasquez's unique style of writing and drawing (leaving little notes to break the fourth wall and to make a reader jiggle his tentacles in raucous laughter) are an interesting break from the norm, if you enjoy comic books normally and feel like a break, why not try JTHM?

While other similar comics are held in high regard, Lenore and Gloom Cookie for instance, JTHM is -it-. The definitive word, so to speak.
Even if you don't like comics and are just looking for something new, give it a try.

It will make you laugh! Unless you are -dead inside!-

'Nny has something of a warped sense of justice. Alot of the time, he will only kill people who have, in his eyes at least, earned it. Although alot of the time, this can be a very small thing.

Such as trying to bring back bell bottoms.

Despite this though we can't help but feel a little empathy, because we've all wanted to do much the same at some point in our lives.

The angry beast within us all roars and bellows at the slightest upset, JTHM is a handy release for that beast.

Having said this about 'Nny, sometimes he just... Kills people. However, he has a reason, that reason being a wall in his house he must keep freshly painted in blood or 'something' from the other side starts pushing through.

'Nny is a very interesting fellow. So much so, you can't put it into words unless you read all his thoughts about what he is thinking and feeling in the book.
Just because he's a homicidal maniac, don't judge him.
And he might not kill you.

This is a bangin' comic book and well worth a look in. As is all the spin-offs that Jhonen has also made, span from the Johnny verse, such as Squee and I Feel Sick. Most of his work is worth investigating too because it really is roll on the floor laughing funny.

Just don't ask him about Invader Zim unless you wish for him to scream at you before exploding suddenly.

Why not visit his Live Journal at Questionsleep?

Over and out.

Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere - Alice for adults...

I feel the need to get this Blog started. As myself and Ezra decided to call it 'The Floating Market' it only seems right that the first in depth and interesting piece on here should be about the amazing novel that is Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere.

Neverwhere, in my humble opinion, is one of the best novels ever written. I know that as an English graduate I shouldn't make sweeping generalisations like that, but I don't care. It is brilliant. So much so that I wrote my 10, 000 word dissertation on it. I think that the reviews on the back of the book sum up its brilliance:

'The sort of book Terry Pratchett might produce if he spent a month locked in a cell with Franz Kafka.'

- Wired

'I didn't ever want this book to end... Hunter, Islington, Door - these characters are part of my life now... I'm over the moon about this book.'

- Tori Amos

'Excuberantly inventive... a postmodernist punk Faerie Queen.'

- Kirkus Reviews

Neverwhere centres on the tales of Richard Mayhew (a young Scot living in London trying to balance a full-time job in security with a high-maintenance fiancee) and Door (a waif like girl who is the last remaining member of a noble family). Richard's life is turned upside down as he gets dragged into London Below, the world of Door and her associates.

London Below is the home of those people who 'fall through the cracks'. A world occupied by beggars and the homeless, Richard finds it extremely hard to adjust to his new environment. From the introduction of my dissertation:

Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere is a novel concerned with different spaces, notably London Above and London Below, and movement through these various areas. Originally written as a television series for the BBC, Neverwhere tells the story of Richard Mayhew, a middle class Londoner who finds himself on a dangerous adventure beneath the city streets. He must not only explore and become accustomed to his new environment, but he is required to view a space that he thought he knew in a completely different manner. Gaiman wrote the novel in the hope that it would become an Alice in Wonderland for adults...

Gaiman’s narrative explores the way in which different places are home to alternate forms of social ordering and the reader’s attitude towards this multitude of cultures. Through Richard, he takes the reader on a journey through his alternative London and questions their perceptions of the London they are so familiar with.

I've read my copy of Neverwhere so often that it is coming apart at the spine. There are some books that I find it hard to read on a regular basis, but I never tire of this one. And the BBC series isn't bad either. I love Laura Frazer as Door, she is such a beauty. Door is the kind of character that could be horrifically miscast, but Frazer is perfection.

I could ramble on about Neverwhere all day. Myself and Ezra will have to go on the Stroll in Old London at Dusk one day and take lots of amazing photos. But that's all about Neverwhere for tonight...

I have news of the most distressing nature...

Unfortunately, due to the incompetency of the people at HP my laptop is being taken away for repair tomorrow. I have only got it back on Tuesday so this makes me a very angry Almira indeed. The last time I sent my laptop in to be 'repaired' (I use this word very loosely) it came back in a worse state than I sent it off in. Thanks HP. Stellar service.

If there is any good news to come from this tragedy it is that I hope to be ultra productive this evening and I can guarantee that I will not part from it when it eventually returns. In the meanwhile I will have to soldier on and attempt to use a now vintage laptop, assuming it wants to connect to the internet.

So bad news from your hostess, but with a glimmer of hope...

Hot Off The Wireless...

Message Begins...

Call me Ezra, Ezra Addle at your service.
I would shake your hand, but circumstances prevent me from doing so at this present moment in time. Never the less, I extend my warmest greetings to you all.
Welcome to the floating market, a small oasis of conscious and rational thought in the great desert that is the modern world.
Here, before your very eyes two of the greatest intellects of the age sit together in heated debate about a great many things. Art, music, literature, culture, the list could very well be endless. Together, my mental companion and I will be taking you on a journey of fantastical adventure, into an unspoiled realm of intellectual possibilities! The sort of place where phantasm is spelt with a 'ph' instead of an 'f'.

But before we engage the motors on our amazing steam powered airship, a little about myself first.
I'm an 18 year old policing student with a twist. The sort of twist which is liable to get you labeled as 'the weird kid'. Thankfully not so strange as too smell of wee, but sadly strange enough to make social situations... Difficult.
Much as I wish I could hurl all sorts of interesting and exciting things at you, I'm afraid I can't. While I do enjoy film, music and books, in these respects Mira is my superior in every respect and all I can do is follow lamb like in her wake.
Despite this, I am a huge fan Jhonen Vasquez and everything he has done. I am also something of a Evanescence devotee as well.
While I do like other bands, Evanescence are who and what it all boils down too. Put me on a desert island with a CD player and only one CD, it's be an Evanescence one. Or possibly the audio book on how to escape from being stranded on a desert island with only the CD player you are listen to this book on.

I love Mira a very great deal, despite the suddenness of our meeting and the lack of time we've had to know one another, I consider her one of my closest budskis and I'd quite happily give her one of my kidneys should she need it.
I have nothing but respect for her and so should you, as it is very likely she will be the senior member of this partnership.
As she has said herself, another meeting of the minds is in the pipeline, with more updates to follow.

I'm a very strange fellow, despite being somewhat 'dark' many of my fellow thinkers down at the gentleman's club show a great amount of surprise to learn that I have a great and varied interest in all things on both side of the light and dark spectrum of things.
I could go into this more and list my taste in films, but you know too much already.

Message ends.

The thinkers, the dreamers, the creators extraordinare...

What's this? We hear you ask. Another Blog filled with inane ramblings? To be perfectly honest, we are tired and don't have the energy to defend ourselves, so we're just going to answer that question with a simple, short Yes.

I am your hostess, Almira Hellyer (Mira to my friends - when I say 'friends' I mean Ezra). I am a twenty-something year old Literature graduate living in the United Kingdom, trying to find my place in the world whilst simultaneously struggling to maintain the cool and collected exterior I have spent so many years creating. As the degree would suggest I am a devout bookworm. My authors of choice include the great Neil Gaiman (naturally), Angela Carter and Margaret Atwood. I am also a worshipper at the altar of music. I live for music. Hate studying the theory of it, but can't get enough of listening to it. I swear that soon my MP3 player will actually become one with my body. In my strange little universe Tori Amos is god. Aside from the Fairy Queen I mainly listen to musicians of the female-indie-rock variety. I'm such a stereotypical feminist...

I won't attempt to introduce my fellow Blogger, your charming host, Ezra Addle. He can write his own introduction. I'm not in the business of stealing anyone's thunder.

How did you meet? Well that is a good question. Myself and Ezra met in a damp and gloomy corner of the internet. We won't tell you which one, that would ruin the fun. Suffice to say that we instantly formed an unbreakable bond over our shared respect of the Queen's English and ability to write in coherent sentences and paragraphs. We became MSN pals, then Skype buddies until finally meeting up in July 2007. The next meeting is already in the pipeline. The pair of us having dazzling moments of brilliance, and we thought that we would share some of our indisputable wisdom with the faceless minions on the net.

And thus this Blog was born...